More Than Tea and Handshakes: The Gentle Power of Everyday Multiculturalism.

In a world buzzing with movement, people crossing borders and the high seas for work, safety, study, or love, we’re constantly bumping into difference. Culture, language, religion, values; these can enrich our lives or pull us apart, depending on how we respond to them. At the heart of good multicultural practice isn’t grand theory. It’s something much quieter: curiosity, patience, and the bravery to be seen, and to truly see.

Let’s be honest. Multiculturalism sounds nice in policy papers and school brochures. But in real life, it often means difficult conversations. Why does someone wear a head covering? Why won’t they shake hands? Why are they not excited about Christmas? Or Halloween? Or Eid? Why don’t they make eye contact? Why is sharing food so important in some cultures, while others prefer clear boundaries? These aren’t rude questions, they’re necessary ones. The trouble starts when we don’t ask, or worse, when we assume.

The Courage to Go First.

One of the most powerful things anyone can do in a multicultural space is to go first. Not with a lecture. With a gesture. With presence. With listening. You sit next to a colleague in the staff room who usually keeps to themselves and ask, “Tell me about that dish, it smells amazing.” You lean in with a warm “Good morning” to someone who’s never greeted you back, just in case today is the day they’re ready.

It’s not grand. It’s not always smooth. But it’s real. This is how bridges are built.

Why Small Gestures Matter.

Let’s take tea, for example. A cup of tea in Britain is everyday stuff, “Fancy a cuppa?” is as casual as it gets. But in many cultures, offering tea isn’t just about refreshment. It’s an invitation to pause. To share space. In Morocco, tea is an art, prepared with care and poured with flair. Refusing it can be considered rude. In Afghanistan, offering tea to a guest, even a stranger, is a sign of honour and peace. So, when someone offers you tea, not just in their home, but at their desk, in a plastic cup, or after a long meeting, they’re saying more than “Have a drink.” They’re saying, “I see you. Let’s connect.”

And what about a handshake? In some cultures, a firm grip and eye contact is respect. In others, physical touch between genders might be inappropriate. Some people bow instead. Some bring their hands to their chest. Each action carries meaning. Ignoring that can cause embarrassment. But asking, “Is it okay if I shake your hand?” shows humility, respect, and a willingness to learn. That’s the stuff of trust.

Patience is the Hidden Superpower.

Understanding takes time. Sometimes people don’t want to explain. Sometimes they don’t have the language. Sometimes they’re just tired. So, the magic ingredient here is patience. Patience looks like asking without pushing. Waiting without assuming. Holding off on judgement until the full picture emerges. It means recognizing that what feels “normal” to you might feel strange or even unsafe to someone else. And vice versa. Patience allows space for understanding before conclusions are drawn.

The human resources manual can tell you how not to get it wrong. Only you can decide to get it right. So go beyond compliance. Ask questions. Listen closely. Laugh together. Share a meal. Make room. Because true multiculturalism isn’t a policy. It’s a practice. And delight? That’s a choice. One only individuals can make.

Take for example the workplace. A team member who doesn’t join in office drinks might be seen as antisocial. But they could be Muslim, avoiding alcohol, not because they’re unfriendly, but because it’s part of their faith. Someone who always eats lunch alone might not be shy, or weird, they could be observing fasting rules or simply need quiet to recharge. Patience allows space for understanding before conclusions are drawn.

Let’s Be More Than Just Tolerant.

Tolerance is the bare minimum. It means “I’ll put up with you.” But what if we aimed higher? Toward appreciation. Toward learning. Toward delighting in difference.

Multicultural best practice isn’t only about making sure everyone is included in the company potluck. It’s about asking why food matters to someone. It’s not just about translating the sign into ten languages. It’s about making sure everyone knows they belong. No human resources manual can delve into this sacred space. Human resources manuals are built to set standards on what’s fair, what’s legal, what’s required. They’re there to prevent harm, not necessarily to inspire connection. They can list protected characteristics, outline anti-discrimination policies, and offer checklists for inclusive hiring. But no HR manual can tell you how to delight in cultural differences. That space, that sacred, human space is reserved for the curious, the open-hearted, and the truly accepting.

In the End, It’s Personal.

We don’t have to agree on everything. We don’t have to understand everything right away. But we do need to keep showing up, asking gently, and listening with our full attention. The HR manual can tell you how not to get it wrong. Only you can decide to get it right!

So go beyond compliance. Ask questions. Listen closely. Laugh together. Share a meal. Make room. Talking of meals got me salivating. My personal challenge to you (reading this) is to put yourself out there, get wooed by the different tastes, different languages and different people. As I write, I am planning to have a go at some jollof rice from Nigeria first, and then some more jollof rice from Ghana. Eric, I won’t play judge on which is better. I had no plans for thanksgiving, but I think I do now. Sean – make some room for me and mines – we are coming for to devour that turkey on thanksgiving dinner. And Denis, please get the grills ready – I am ready for a taste of Kenyan ugari and nyama choma. Rob, I challenge you to rediscover the Southern African magic gumbo or the famous boerewors, accompanied by some pap and kale.

I am daring you to give some part of you, and in return to receive some bits of the puzzle “we” have become. Because true multiculturalism isn’t a policy. It’s a practice. And sometimes, a handshake—or the refusal of one—is a whole world asking to be understood. And if you’re ever unsure? Ask. Not to challenge, but to connect. That’s where the real work of multiculturalism begins.